My dear family and friends,
I hope this letter finds you all well and happy. As we all look forward to being with those we love and cherish I know all of you will have safe trips as I’ll be staying here off the roads by myself. You must be happy to know there’s no way you can trigger the protection shield around me causing any serious accidents and blocking the roads.
Since I lost my dear, sweet Tootsey to the predations of the now deceased neighbor I have felt very alone and lost. I miss my cuddle bug. He was such a comfort to me. Thanks to everyone who sent me replacement pets. The 12 gold fish were lovely before the 40 charming, black cats ate them.
My family has now expanded with the addition of yet another new pet Lex, one of the ugliest gargoyles ever to be hatched. He’s very adorable. Although, I do find hugging his stone body to be a bit chilling. I’m keeping very busy teaching him to control his fire breathing. We’ve done very well fixing dinner every evening and I’m sure the charred food is free of any possible pathogens. 🙂 He appears to be making progress with his control and hasn’t burned down any more of the neighborhood than the three houses he destroyed last week. I’m looking forward to many nicely toasted marshmallows in the Spring when the weather is nicer. Perhaps you would like to visit and enjoy the fun? We could do hot dogs? Just wear some fireproofing to be safe.
I must say a heart felt thanks for all the lovely Christmas gifts everyone has sent. You’ve been keeping the delivery people very busy and I have to report their aim has improved considerably since Thanksgiving. Almost every attempt lands right on the porch where it’s easy for me to retrieve the package. I am concerned about the way they don’t stop the truck but just slow a bit before heaving the gift at the house. A few presents have unfortunately arrived in less than perfect condition causing the delivery vans to crash but most seem to do well. To those of you who sent the ruined stuff it’s my sincere wish that you heal quickly and as completely as possible. My apologies. I’m sure the rest of you can’t wait for me to open what you have sent. I am resisting any urges to take a peek. So you are safe for now.
With some luck and good advice I should be able to modify the shield so we won’t have these problems next year. I’m looking forward to a safe, boring year trapped in the house so I cause as few problems as possible. Wishing you and yours all the best (unless you cross me)…
Mariah Walters and Lex